Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
