Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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