I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
