1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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