Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
