I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize