She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No subtext here. People are naked.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
