I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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