I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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