I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
