I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
