Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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