how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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