I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
