On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
