I want to stick my p in your. b.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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