I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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