what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
