No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
