Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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