And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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