why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She even gives head with a lisp.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
