She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
