Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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