proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
