She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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