Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
