isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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