hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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