how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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