I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
