oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
