You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
