When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
