chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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