You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
