Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
