there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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