don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
