i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
