I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
