shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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