Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
