Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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