then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
