My underwear smells like fireworks.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
