shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
