I hate your face
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
