New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
