she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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