Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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