sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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