from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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