She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
