u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
