We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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