the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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