tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
